I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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