overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
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