someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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