She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
