the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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