just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
false alarm, still single
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
