I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
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