but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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