Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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