Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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