I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
you never un-have a 4some
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
The adults are the big ones right?
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
