What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
