i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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