you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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