I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
