i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize