I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
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