Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
