i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
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