Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
