"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
he was CRYING into my vagina
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
