Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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