I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Randomize
