i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
