I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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