dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
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