I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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