i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
