I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
