I cannot find my penis.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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