dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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