I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Randomize
