for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
