her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
