A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize