somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
You pole danced in your parka.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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