Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
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