well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
