I got chris browned last night
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
The air was thick with penises
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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