we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
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