i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
