I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
