You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
