People in love make me want to vomit
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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