Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
