Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
