No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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