yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I am never drinking with the goths again.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
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