there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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