ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
