You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
