Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
