I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
