I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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