i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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