i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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