i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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