The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
