I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
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