I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Randomize