guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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