Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
