i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Randomize
