he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize