we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
