he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Randomize
