piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
