I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
