That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize