I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
