Sponge bath it is.
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Randomize