Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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