it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
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