i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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