Ambien. No doubt about it.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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