dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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