It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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