fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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