How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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